It was winter and I was very upset. I sat for a long time in my room even though the view beyond the window was beautiful. I could see the blue, bright lake and green nature, but I couldn’t see them very well. I cried long and hard when I came back home from my school. This time was extremely difficult for me.
My classmates were laughing at me because I couldn’t manage to see the blackboard. They hid my school stuff. This was funny for them. I know that it’s part of being a teenager, but it was unacceptable. Almost all my classmates didn’t want to study. I was completely different. I was curious about knowledge.
Even some of my teachers didn’t understand why I was not able to see what was on the maps. They thought that I should wear glasses like other people who are near-sighted or far-sighted. Unfortunately when I wore glasses, it wasn’t helpful for me because I have a problem with the sharpness of my retina.
My mum is a teacher and after my class we copied all of the notes from classes and rewrote them again. I also had extra classes with my mum’s teacher friends. Even though I passed my exams I didn’t want to go to school. I had had enough. I felt that I didn’t need to have contact with people. I was really frustrated and unhappy. I thought that being partially sighted made it impossible to have a normal life.
I was 13 and my sight was getting worse. I couldn’t read with a normal magnifying glass. I started being educated by visiting teachers at home. It was a terrible time for me. When my parents went to work and my sister to school I felt very lonely. I was waiting for the teachers, who visited me at different times after school. I felt as if I were in a close, dark box. I didn’t know what it meant to have friends. My life consisted of my parents and family. My old friends didn’t understand. I liked studying, because I’m curious about life and people, but at that time I didn’t like people at all. I started eating a lot to fill the emptiness I felt.
My little sister tried to cheer me up. She is very talkative and sweet. My parents had to read books to me. I couldn't accept that I was not able to write by pen and read text in books like other students. I tried to do these things even though it was very difficult. I tried using thicker black pens, but it was not successful.
When I passed the lower secondary exam, we decided to try again, and I started at a new secondary school, but I only stayed for one month. The teachers didn’t know how to help me. They thought that it was impossible to teach me with 25 students in the classroom. I think that the parents of other students were worried that I would affect the education of their children because I needed to ask a lot of questions.
I felt that my parents also didn’t know exactly what to do, but they didn’t give up. We still lived with hope and faith that one day the sun would shine for me. My parents organized trips to the forest and the cinema, but I always asked myself why I was partially sighted. Even though I could see the faces of my family, I couldn’t read. I often told my parents that I was able to see the text in the classes, but it wasn’t true. My parents came to teacher-parent meetings at school and they tried to explain that I needed large type, not hand-written texts, but most teachers didn’t understand how they could help me. Some teachers were very helpful and supportive. They invited me to come after classes to complete work.
We visited a well-known specialist, but he told us that we had to wait for medical advancements.
I don’t know exactly how my life’s path crossed with Laski. My mum found information about this school on the Internet and at a hospital we met blind and partially sighted people who were also trying to overcome their obstacles.
I remember this time exactly. At the beginning, my parents wanted to go to Laski by themselves, but they later decided that I would go with them. We went by car. We didn’t know where the school was located. We only knew that it was close to the capital, Warsaw.
We visited Laski, but I didn’t want to go there. I told my parents that I wanted to stay in a mainstream school, but I knew I might have to stay at home for a long time without education.
The location of Laski was beautiful. There were a lot of trees, but when I heard that it’s a special place for visually challenged people, I was very scared even though I was 16 years old. I didn’t want to stay there, but my parents knew that it would be a good place for me. I was also afraid because there were nuns there. I had been in a school led by nuns, and it was quite a difficult time for me. I was extremely shy there.
At first it was hard to be 400km away from home. However, at Laski I made friends who helped me realize that we could have friends and use a computer with special devices. We used computers with a synthetic voice. It is a place where I improved my values, because in the normal school I was the only one who had a problem with sight, and I felt that everybody could do a lot of things, but not me. Laski definitely changed this. I discovered that blind people have more sensitive hearing, which means musical talents and they have a variety of different skills. I met people who inspired me. One of them is a person who plays violin beautifully. He is also one of the best at goal ball, which is a sport for blind athletes.
I’m very grateful to my parents, who arranged extra classes in English, which was always my best subject. At Laski I had extra classes with Stephanie, a really nice volunteer from New Zealand.
I started at Laski in the middle of the year, and I was homesick in the beginning, but soon I got used to it. I was in a special theater performance, where I got a headphone and I could hear what happened on the stage. I went to Rome with a Laski group. I rode on a special bicycle called a tandem. I was amazed by the fact that Laski students can read very quickly in Braille, which is a special alphabet that you feel. They always knew who I was, what my name was, and all of them knew a lot of about themselves and others. It was funny when we gossiped in a nice way about others. It is a very close society. Laski is a place which has Catholic values like giving other people mercy. We greet each other with a slogan: through the cross to heaven.
I remember my first time using a white stick. I felt that everybody was looking at me. I had to accept my situation. I don’t want people to pity me. I dream that people with disability can be happy. I discovered at Laski that nothing happens without reason in our life. All of my experience has made me stronger. Sometimes it has to be difficult and later it will be better. I think that it’s important to find a way, something which will be your hobby, something that you really like to do. I have to study a lot because it takes me longer time, but I know that I must demand more of myself if I want to become independent in the future. Laski taught me how to become independent. Sometimes we need to take risks to challenge ourselves.
This is part of my story about my deepest changes. I dream that in the future I will inspire people.
This Article was written by Marta Hanyżkiewicz, who is a partially sighted student at UWC Red Cross Nordic in Norway.
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